"Hey Dad"

It's not easy to be a parent, but your efforts will be rewarded with hugs and kisses, smiles and giggles, love and respect.

What More Could a Dad Want?

It's one of the great mysteries of life that babies usually say "da-da" first ~ way before "mama". Your infant wants to be rewarded for saying your name ~ he's learning to trust, and you want him to learn that the most trustworthy guy is ~ Dad!

As your child grows, the above greeting is often followed by "why does...?"or "how come...?" or "can we...?" It's a good time for walks and games, serious discussions and lots of closeness, because, before you know it, it will be... "Hey Day, can I use the car?" and "Hey Dad, I'd like you to meet...?" and then, if you're lucky, "Hey Granddad!"

I want to get involved with my child but I'm not sure I know what that means.

Even if you do not live with the child, you can establish a consistent schedule of calls and visits. He will learn to depend on your regular contact with him and this will build trust and a sense of security.

Take an active role in your child's development. Take some time or learn about the milestones in a baby's life. When a child gets older, talk to him about feelings and thoughts. Keep track of his height, hang up his drawings, take lots of photographs and let him know that you are proud of him.

Remember that an infant is too young to discipline and that she can be seriously hurt by shaking. When she gets older, investigate positive techniques for disciplining your child. Discipline will teach her socially acceptable behavior. Think back about how painful humiliation or intimidation can be for a child, and vow to be firm but fail.

Get involved in your child's education. Visit her day care center and her school and make sure that teachers know your are interested in activities at school. Don't let teachers think that "parents" means "mothers."

Be a role model for your child. Your child looks up to you and will imitate you. Show him how to treat others with respect, how to handle conflict and ways to keep himself healthy. Share your interest and experiences and take your child to work with you. Let him know that even fathers make mistakes sometimes, that it is OK for him to make mistakes, and that he can forgive himself when he does.

Tips for Quieting a Crying Baby...

• Check to see if the baby is wet, tired, hungry or wants company, but don't be alarmed if none of these seem to be the problem.
• Try a pacifier to calm the baby. Chill it if the baby is teething.
• Some babies "startle" easily. These babies like to be wrapped up snuggly in a blanket.
• Experiment with different positions and gently walking or rocking the baby. Give this a little time to work.
• Take a walk with the baby held close, or put the baby in the stroller or take the baby for a ride in the car. But if you go out in the car, be sure to use a car seat and remember to take the baby out when you get out. ~ (A closed, parked car can be a death trap for a child.)
• Talk softly or sing to the baby. Sing anything ~ "baby" music is not necessary.
• There will be times when none of this works. If you feel yourself beginning to get angry, make sure the baby is safe and go into another room for a few minutes. Take a short break, talk to a friend, or play some music. If the baby stops crying ~ you've just taught you child how to comfort himself.
• If there is recurrent crying, a pediatrician can help you determine if there is a problem.
• Make sure that baby sitters and other caretakers know never to shake or punish your baby.

Source: Healthy Families Virginia and Virginia Coalition for Child Abuse Prevention Month